Friday, 20 June 2008

What's to say for the days I cannot bare

Currently listening to: Beirut


I'm in a good mood. Or at least I was; I think I am more indifferent now. For once I found a pair of jeans that fit me fine enough fairly quick and for a nice price (usually I have to look for ages as I am not too fond of those tight things most girls wear - makes me very aware of the fact that the fat of most things I eat end up in my legs rather than my stomach, for some odd reason). When I visited one of the CD/DVD stores, they were playing some really amusing music. 'Twas Beirut, I discovered. Folk/Indie type of music, very beautiful. It was on sale so I bought it. I love it already. Nantes, Cliquot, The Flying Club Cup and A Sunday Smile are my favourites so far.

Just listen to it!



Anyhow, later I met up with some of my friends and drank coffee with them at Café Opus - well, I drank coffee, they drank hot chocolate, those betrayers. In any case, that was nice as well. We didn't stay as long as I once did (I sat there with two of my friends for three hours once!) since one had to go to work and one decided to say hello to her boyfriend, but since most of them are going away in the summer... it was good to say hello. The good mood didn't really hit me until I was on my way home after a trip with my dog, though.

It's so nice to be in a good mood. I rarely notice it, so it surprises me each time I do. I even almost, almost felt confident enough to confess to him one day. Of course, that was only almost and it lasted barely for a minute. Typical.

The ironic thing is that my parents currently are at a funeral.

I am at a loss for what to do. Education-wise, I mean. I want to return to Art & Design, but that means changing schools and taking the second year over again. At the same time I want to continue learning Japanese, not to mention my school has a really pleasant environment and I want to finish with this part of my education as quick as possible (even though it means that I have to choose what further education I want sooner). Art & Design is closer to what kind of job I want, though. Most of what I learn at my current school is languages, and from that you can become a teacher, a guide or an interpreter. I don't want to be any of those things. Illustrator or designer sounds much more interesting, and I like drawing. Languages are fun too, but not like that. What I really want to become is an author, of course, but I need a plan B, so to speak. Not everyone can become like J. K. Rowling, certainly not at once. Even so, it took time even for her to become that famous.

Really, what to do next school year depends on what I choose later, after upper secondary school. Illustration, writer studies or psychology, which I also want to study (although I do not want to become a psychologist). In one way the answer is obvious. I should focus on what can give me a proper job - illustration - and do the rest later or in my free time. I have my whole life before me, but at the same time I feel like I don't have the time, that I need to do the things now, before it's too late. Illustrator probably isn't the kind of job that would give you steady income, either. Also, I'm the kind of person who tends to focus on one thing only, and what I want to focus on is my writing, which means choosing either writer studies or psychology (which can help me create realistic characters). That would be three years of study (or more, can't remember if the basic study of psychology is one year only) if I choose both. Three years of study about something that might possibly earn me nothing at all.

I have no idea what to do.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

The Dull Dolls I See

I feel like drinking yet I have no idea why. Probably because I haven't been with the gang for quite some time and I feel the need to have some fun and socialize with them. My word, can you believe it - me, wanting to socialize?

... fine, 'tis not really that much of a shock.

Urgh, it's that time of the month again. Sometimes I hate being a woman. Luckily the pain lasts only for a day or two - and we have this wonderful thing called paracetamol - but we were supposed to go bathing tomorrow. Now all I will be able to do is sit there and watch everyone else have fun. "Perfect opportunity to get a tan." I don't sunbathe.

You know, all my friends are special. I guess people would see at least some of them as normal, but in my eyes they are special. They must be, otherwise I would not see them as friends. I know that sounded a bit terrible and egoistical, but it's the truth. It has to do with how I view the world - or rather, its inhabitants.

When I look around, I do not really see people. I see tens or hundreds or thousands of Barbie and Kent dolls. There are different dolls, some with black hair, some with blonde, some dressed as punks, some as businessmen, some as your ordinary fashion follower, some are black, some are white - but the point is, they are all mass productions. There are different types, yes, but every doll of this or that type are alike. Even with AI and with its own personality, they are all the same. So many faces that look almost exactly the same. And their voices; I have found myself turn around at the sound of a very familiar voice only to find out it was an entirely different person from whom I thought it was. They all sound alike, look alike, several even act the same. Sometimes I see someone who is different, but they are still dolls and chances are they belong to a category I have yet to put name to. How flat and dull everyone are! They are more like faceless and colourless figures hurrying about than dolls.

Then there are my friends, people who have approached me in some way, dolls with flesh, sometimes incomplete but each day more and more a real and colourful individual, painting the leaves green during spring and red and yellow during autumn; one of the wonders of life. Damn, I love you guys. You are more entertaining than stick figures on crack, and let me tell you, that says a lot.

This raises a very interesting question, however: What am I? I will have to discuss that with my dear philosopher friend Theo. I hope it doesn't turn into an endless debate like the discussion about art did. We still have not come up with a conclusion - but then again, we have only discussed it twice.

Friday, 23 May 2008

Chihahua on a STEEK

Currently listening to: Jeff Dunham (no, 'tis not music)


Trouble... writing... laughing too hard.

Seriously, you gotta watch this. Jeff Dunham is one of the funniest people in the world. For the other parts, just visit the video on youtube, part 2 and so on and so on should be under "Video Responses".

WATCH IT.



Damn, my posts are just random nowadays.

INGRID IZ HERE. There, "daily life" news. The little ninny loves to stay wide awake from two o'clock in the morning whenever she visits, so she's usually crying because she's tired yet for some silly reason refuses fall asleep. Weird thing. I still love her, though.

Liek omg i think ive found som1 i likes but im not tellin who or what or when or w/e nor am i tellin him coz im to shy and i has liek no confidense and i does not now how he feels and i does not really now him so w/e!!!11one

Actually, I have no idea.

101, anyone?

Thursday, 22 May 2008

The Secret

Currently listening to: Madrugada


WATCH IT. Seriously.


Friday, 16 May 2008

Randomness


Currently listening to:
Random (Hans Zimmer, ATB, Rob Zombie, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, David Arkenstone, Vanessa Mae, Enigma, Muse, others)



I hate the smell of french fries and ketchup. Hate it more than I hate fish. And of course there had to be someone munching french fries on the bus yesterday, spreading the smell all over the place! Yuck! Hate on that person!

Chacarron Macarron by El Mudo is the weirdest song ever.

Messing around on Gaia Online has proven fruitful. I found two incredibly funny videos.

Damn, this post in pointless!


Phoenix Wrong



Phoenix Wright - Boot to the head